- I intensely despise my own shit my heart, my mind, my unspoken feelings for you I don’t know which is worse that my mind has the audacity to sit up there in my head and demand! In this standoff that I take it desires under advisement like my mind runs shit! I keep telling it to mind its own motha fuckin’ business paying so much attention to what the fuck I’m doing it’s messing up control those unconscious functions you’re supposed to be in charge of Yes I see the brightness of his smile and I was swimming in the depth of those brown eyes but that doesn’t give you the right to flush my cheeks and increase my heart rate don’t you think I want to spill it all and say can’t seem to rid my mind of you unsure how you got this deep this fast without the benefits of any physical contact modern-day abstract of how to really affect a woman you have to first affect her mind given time, I could have tumbled and stumbled all the way in love with you such a crush on you unknown to you how deep you grew trying desperately to purge myself of the desire to know you and to know you fabricate reasons to spend brief moments of time in your presence drawn to you by the nature of your glow, mystical flow lips part to release wisdom and induce laughter cougaristic instincts crowd my mind that you could be the king of my jungle reality, or commonsense, or society say that this desire to share a moment or lifetime for the blind burdened by the very nature of myself your yet unplanted seed know that you will one day need to propagate but it would be lost on my wasteland, soil turned to sand so I understand the lack of potential an acceptance of the chance that you might not want to help carry my burdens despite the beauty they possess instant stress accompanies the responsibilities one acquires with each flower I tend in my life’s garden precious to me, contemplated by your careful, thoughtful, distance which I could dismiss the space but instead respectful acceptance of where you stand appreciate you as a friend that you may never hold my hand still we are staring at a distance as I am measuring the weight of possibilities in your eyes pleasantly surprised by the inspiration for softly sent words heartfelt or calculated once stated those three words life-changing, mind-blown confidence growing so let me impart to you you are beautiful too
Want more? Read this and other poems in my first book. Life: love and lust
